The Public Service Announcement Game
You see them every day…your taxes pay for them…they inform you of certain dangers inherent in your behavioral choices that otherwise might not already be obvious. They are the public service announcements that air on radio and TV in accordance with regulations governing federal license renewal and during the wee hours abandoned by commercial advertisers.
Smoking, cake, exercise, being a good parent, holding the handrail, and lead paint (which was banned in 1977 by the Consumer Products Safety Commission) are, in the words of Captain Louis Renault, the “usual suspects” called upon to star in these dramatic presentations.
Remember when you could write to Pueblo, Colorado for your free consumer information catalog?
Takes you back to Schoolhouse Rock, doesn’t it?
…hookin’ up words and clauses and phrases…
To honor the great tradition of saving us from ourselves, we propose this contest. Your entry will be the one which most successfully liberates the PSA from the dark closet of political correctness. Your PSA idea will serve to swing the spotlight. It will illuminate the stage upon which idiocy, strife, hate, and the process of natural selection compete for dominance…or it could just be clever.
Here are some examples to stimulate your creativity:
You don’t blog every time you smoke. Why smoke every time you blog?
You don’t visit the rest room every time you read a magazine. Why read a magazine every time you visit the rest room?
You don’t shoot everyone you’re angry with. Why shoot someone every time you’re angry?
You don’t kill an infidel every time you pray. Why pray every time you kill an infidel?
You don’t drink every time you give a speech. Why give a speech every time you drink?
You don’t make excuses when you don’t eat beef. Why make excuses when you do?
You don’t lie about voting democrat when you do. Why lie about it when you don’t?
So…who wants to play? Send us your best, “you do but you don’ts,” and we guarantee that they’ll be seen by around 343 readers (that’s 686 individual eyes).
Yup, they eyes are the prize…Nobody is using this contest as an excuse for an idiotic come-on, designed to collect your names and addresses to create a “for sale” list.
This contest includes no, “thirty day trials,” no, “buy one get one,” and no agreements for, “nine dollar a month” deductions in perpetuity.
The idea is that you might stop being stupid about the myriad surveys, IQ tests, and customer satisfaction questionnaires that are used to mine your market information while making you believe you’re winning something.
So stop falling for it, okay? Okay! Now, gimme ten high…gimme twenty low…now gimme thirty…your hand too dirty.
(You don’t pose for pictures every time you smoke weed. Why smoke weed every time you pose for pictures?)