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Dear Abby

I am 30 years old and came to South Korea a few years ago to teach English. Where I live there’s not much to do and plenty of time to do it, if you know what I mean. Recently, my Korean friends and I were discussing North Korea’s dismal human rights record. Well, one thing led to another and before I knew it I decided to focus the world’s attention on this issue by taking a walk north across the border in “protest”. Needless to say, my immediate arrest for committing the hostile act of trespassing came as quite a shock…pretty much the exact opposite of a day trip to Canada in every conceivable way. At this point, the opportunity to announce my sense of moral superiority in return for an eight year prison sentence and a fine of 70 million Won wasn’t such a great deal, to say the least. Please let your readers know that I’m available for use as a bargaining chip, if and when nuclear disarmament talks are resumed. Signed, Seemed Like A Good Idea At The Time

Dear Seemed,
To say your decision betrayed a lack of judgment, though sedulous, would be an understatement. Showing off to your friends is always more likely to result in embarrassment than triumph. Remember, in the US, your innocence is presumed; in North Korea your guilt is confirmed. Good luck!

Gimme some skin...yours.

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